Discipleship Counseling by Dr. Neil T. Anderson

Author:Dr. Neil T. Anderson [Anderson, Neil T.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Discipling (Christianity), Pastoral counseling, Spiritual warfare
ISBN: 9781441265531
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2012-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

ADDRESSING DEFENSES

Be aware of two defenses that are fairly common. The first comes from those who have tried traditional counseling and have not seen any results, or from those who do not believe in counseling. In such cases, I would say something like the following: “I want you to know that I care about you, and I believe that you can be free in Christ. I have no desire to psychoanalyze you or offer you advice unless you ask for it. This is more of an encounter with God and quite unlike most counseling sessions. I believe that your conflicts can be resolved in Christ, and I want to help you understand how your needs can be met in Him.”

The second defense comes from those who have been burned by the Church. They have gone to church, and they have tried reading their Bibles and praying, but for some reason it did not work for them. Most of these people are disappointed with God and Christians (usually the authority figures, such as pastors, teachers and parents). They need to understand that institutions and programs—no matter how well intended—cannot set them free. Who sets them free is Christ, and what sets them free is their personal response to Him.

Christian institutions and programs should facilitate repentance and reconciliation on a personal basis, but some do not. In some sad situations, parents and pastors have been the perpetrators. In every case, there is no perfect pastor or parent, and even the best will let others down sometime. The good news is that Jesus loves us perfectly, and He will never let us down or forsake us.

On the other hand, sometimes the defenses are not consistent with what the counselees really desire. I was asked by a man at a camp if I would help his daughter. I answered, “Only if she wants to.”

He assured me that she did, but her opening statement to me was, “I don’t want to get right with God or anything!”

I have learned to ignore such opening statements and respond with something like this: “That is your choice, but since we have this time together, we may as well make the most of it. Would you like to share with me how you have been hurt, or what you are struggling with?” If the person shares his or her story, and many do, I ask, “Wouldn’t you like to resolve that?” or if appropriate, “Wouldn’t you like to get rid of those voices?” In almost every case, they proceed through the Steps as all others do.

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